June 29, 2007 at 8:18 am (Bert, Exciting web finds)
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Hullo, Bert here. It saddens me to think that some people out there – maybe not you, but maybe, just maybe, you – think hamsters are nothing more than stupid balls of fur whose only input into the world is to eat seeds and pop out tiny balls of poo. Well let me tell you that some of us are more than that. Some of us, yes, are even less but I’m not here to talk about my cousins from ‘dawwwn saaff’. After all, if all hamsters had little more intellect than the mud-soaked dolts they interview at Glastonbury every year then who the hell would have invented magnets, fuzzy felt and Japan? No one, that’s who!
Anyhoo, in an effort to promote the intellectual superiority of hamsters over you half-naked monkeys, may I please present to you (by way of El Gordo, only a 3-quarters naked monkey in anyone’s book) the Marvellous Hamster Powered MIDI Musicbox!*
Bert – you looking at me?
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* Note how the hamsters who devised, designed, built and operated the device have cleverly written their paper from the point of view of one of you humonkeys. Clever, huh?
14 Comments
June 28, 2007 at 7:45 am (General)
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Eeek! Anyone know if this is blight? I’m pretty sure it is as when I pulled up the first tub of spuds, one of the seed spuds was rotten and slimy.
11 Comments
June 28, 2007 at 7:43 am (Flora and Fauna, Food, Planting Diary, The Garden)
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Yay! I pulled up my first harvest of spuds last night – largely spurred on by the fact I think I have blight in the crop (see next post).
Anyway, we ate some for tea and they were lovely – I had that chap in the middle as he was the famous First Spud of 2007! and therefore it was my divine right to munch him up good 
3 Comments
June 27, 2007 at 8:24 am (Planting Diary, The Garden)
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So… Attempt number four. Lat night I screwed four clips into the fence to (hopefully) keep the mini-greenhouse upright in the wind. Precisely what the little git didn’t do on monday… two days after I potted up 3 trays and 12 pots of seeds, all of which had to go on the compost.
All 3 trays and twelve pots are full again but this is the last of my rocket and my runner beans so the green thumbed gods of fortune better give me a sodding break here.
6 Comments
June 26, 2007 at 9:04 am (Big Burro Fun, Zombies)
WARNING: This post & its comments contain mucho swearing. Thank you.
Edit: This is no loger a PG site! R all the way, baby!
“This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: zombie (6x), pissed (3x), bastard (2x), screwing (1x)”
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Thanks to Mildew for these links:
But I have one question… How the hell did I only get a PG? I’m sure I’ve said ‘fuck’ at least once – it would be very unlike me not too, to be honest!
And I quoteth… “This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: zombie (3x) – pissed (2x) – bastard (1x)” Well you can add ‘fuck (2x)’ to that and bump me up to Rating:18!
Zombie stats coming soon! EDIT: 10pm – here they are and I did bad! I think it’s cos I went find loved ones and would help strangers – that kind of shit will get you eaten! Will I never learn!
41%
16 Comments
June 26, 2007 at 7:51 am (Flora and Fauna, Planting Diary, The Garden)
I planted one lot of beans and carrots and salady stuff.
The slugs ate them.
I bought nemaslug and watered it in to kill the slugs.
I planted a second lot of beans and carrots and salady stuff, as well as asparagus.
The slugs ate them.
I spent a long time on Saturday planting seeds out in little pots and putting them into my new stand up mini-greenhouse.
The wind blew it down.
I am so pissed off.
Tonight I shall be screwing the greenhouse to the fence and re-planting all the seedlings for attempt number four.
Really, really pissed off.
14 Comments
June 22, 2007 at 1:26 pm (Interweb stuff)
So that’s what it is for. I see now.
8 Comments
June 20, 2007 at 8:07 am (Flora and Fauna, Planting Diary, The Garden)
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Bugger me! A mere 14 (count ‘em!) days after planting my 1-year old asparagus crowns, several small (and one or two not-so-small) shoots are already poking through!
Only another 2 years before I can harvest them for a meal of (puts on Dervla Kerwin’s best FM* voice) gently steamed asparagus and soft scrambled eggs on thick home made toasted bread all drizzled with truffle oil… mmmmmmmm…
* If I need to explain, you are too innocent to know.
11 Comments
June 14, 2007 at 1:00 pm (Being Green, Big Burro Fun, Interweb stuff, Mucking about, Recycling and Energy)
Right, I haven’t plugged Chris’s company on here for blinking ages so here goes – go to http://www.homerecycling.co.uk/ and take a look at their great range of stuff to help you recycle. We’ve had the 4-bin thing, the other 4-bin thing and a carrier bag thing from them and they make my messy life so much easier (hell, even the mistress likes them and she would live in a house so minimalist that it would contain no furniture at all. Or walls. Or roof. Or me. In fact just a white box without the box would suit her, so getting 3 bits of furniture past her has to tell you how great they are). Anyhow, check out the site and the forum. Hope you find sommat you like 
Post FAQ:
A. What? Why?
Q. Eh? Why not!
A. Are you on the payroll? Is this viral marketing?
Q. No, I’m not. It may be, but if so I’m not being paid for it. I just like Chris – he’s a nice guy.
A. You lie! You work for him!
Q. Honestly I don’t. I do boring spreadheety stuff around funding. And some wetwork.
A. Which soap do you like best?
Q. Hmmm, Corrie I’ll have to say. Emmerdale is OK. Hollyoaks is utter shite (and without Becca wholly without merit for a Sunday morning perv). Eastenders is total drivel – miserable cartoon cockernees shouting (or shaaatttin!) at each other like so many angry chavs in Primark rejects. No thanks, I prefer the offshoot – Beast Enders.
A. Are you a good kisser?
Q. Come closer and find out, you minx!
25 Comments
