Slugs – I Hate Their Guts!

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I ate his guts

You’d think after HedgeWizard’s frankly horrific experience with a slug and his man-plums *shudder*, I’d be more wary of the little blighters. But ohhhh no. Not me. No. I have to go one better don’t I?

Things to remember when stacking bricks from one point of the garden to another:

1) Never look at the bricks as you slap them together.
2) If you do, never be laughing at The News Quiz as you do.

If you fail to observe these simple rules, then it is entirely you own fault if a slug that was safely nestled in a nook or cranny is slapped between to bricks at high speed and explodes upwards into your face, hair, eyes and mouth. Oh yes. And don’t expect any sympathy from erindoors either. Oh no.

I really, REALLY hate slugs guts. Only in this case, I ate his. I feel dirty.


Burro in Print – Third Time’s A Charm!

Yeeha! My third post for the local newspaper’s blog is online now (and in print, I hear but the free paper never reaches us so I’ve not seen that yet). Pop over to the LEP Green Section and read all about my War on Slugs!

Josie has my fourth post and that should appear in a couple of weeks, whilst Stu has agreed to write for her as well 🙂

Where is Da Burro?

Ok folks – update time.

1) The garden is bumbling along nicely. The slugs have done their worse and now seem to have gone to ground. Or moved on as they have eaten everything they could in mine. either way, I’m catching a lot less in the beer traps. Time to start hoeing to get their eggs up for the birds to munch.

2) I’ve been playing SL a lot and my other blog* is doing well.

3) Me and the mistress are embarking on a new round of decorating and DIY to prepare the house and garden. I can say no more.

That’s about it really. I’m planning the look of the garden, going to dig some more beds, may buy a greenhouse and am still looking at chickens… mmmm, eggs…**

Eggy McB!

* I have no link to it here – trying to keep some seperation as this blog is pretty open about me. If you want to read my exploits in SL, I’ll email you the link 🙂

** Not slug eggs though 😛

All your beds are belong to Slugs!

The Slugs are taking over!

See! See! It isn’t just me moaning (Mistress) or being crap (Dad), the fekking Undead Slug Army foretold in the Bible* has risen and is eating out food as they are too small to reach out brains.

15 billion! That must just be in my bloody garden 😦

Me & Jac are starting an Army. There will be uniforms, weapons and cake for all members – who’s with me? Just make sure that no one tells that nice Mr Cameron. He needs a new campaign and “Hug A Slug” would only make our job harder if PETA got involved.

Major Stompy McBurro.
96th Airborne Panzer Slug Stomping Div.
“Caedo Assilio Accudo”

* Maybe. I haven’t read the damn thing. It waffles on about a whole heap’o’crap, so Zombie Slugs are bound to be in there. Probably in a letter to the Romans** that read “Sweet Baby Jesu! The Slugs just ate the 10th Legion!”

** All of ’em? Think of the postage!

My First Tomato!

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First Tomato 02

Despite the rain. Despite the lack of sun. Despite the bastard slugs. Despite over-zealous watering by me when it was a wee plantling, my tomato plant bears fruit. Oh blessed be.

Leek Soup…

… tastes great when:

a) The mistress makes it, and

b) You use your own leeks and spuds.

Oh yes.


Yes I know I’ve not posted for a bit. Yes I know you’ve missed me and I said I’d call you. Yes, we are all missing some Burroy love, but hey! Second Life won’t play itself you know! And I’m here now, so put t’kettle on and I’ll tell you all about it…

This month I ‘av been mainly working at work to make up flexitime I lost from leaving early and having looooooong dinners. I have also been playing SL. I make no apologies. I have plans for my island that involve a crashed bi-plane and an archaeological dig that uncovers some ruins of a shocking nature – but for now, I can say no more 🙂

I ‘av… sorry, have also been waging a War on Slugs. I managed to do this without illegally invading parts of my garden or causing a civil war to erupt between the snails and the beetles. So that would be 1 for me, and 0 for Bush/Blair – Go The Burro! In my War on Slugs (or WoS? for short) I have been using super-absorbent grit*, beer traps**, and a pen-knife***. I may be winning – I am waiting until I read the full report later this month before deciding if I can scale down my operations or I need to look at a mass organic blue pellet aerial bombing campaign. They ate my only two courgette plants****.

I am now, if you remember this, on planting numero 4 of my salad crops, beans and carrots. I am happy to report that a) the clips securing the mini-greenhouse to the fence seem to have worked, and b) last night I moved lots of the healthy seedlings into bigger tubs in the hope they grow big and juicy away from the attention of the slugs (Think Slugs? Think WoS?!)

Equally happy am I by the near-miraculous recovery of my poor slug-munched**** asparagus. A couple of weeks ago, I was looking at 4 out the 10 surviving. Last night I found that my nightly slug-hunts****, beer traps and barriers made of cut up milk bottles have seen an increase of likely survivors to a whopping 7! I’m hoping this will get up to at least 8, but I very much doubt it will get higher and almost certainly will never reach 10*****.

Now on to things I have not done so well 😦 I have not yet replied to KW’s meme (I will!), or many of my friend’s blog posts (I will!), and Bert has been most neglectful of Marvin’s frankly fooking brilliant blog (Bert is sorry, Marv – he is, as always, reading all your write and will issue forth a flurry of comments soon). I will attempt to do better very soon, I promise****** 🙂

General Bastard McBurro
Chief Slug Slicer in the WoS?

* They work a treat – they soaked up all the fekking rain we’ve had and provided the slugs with a lovely carpet on which to slither towards my plants so they could munch them. Bastards. The slugs, I mean.

** The is something very hypnotic about holding a jar of dead, bloated slugs up to the light as they bob about, suspended in beer.

*** Slicey slicey.


***** 1 has never shown even a single spear – all the others have, but suffered a varying degree of munching by slugs****.

****** This is in no way a binding guarantee.

First Spud Harvest of 2007

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First Spud Harvest of 2007

Yay! I pulled up my first harvest of spuds last night – largely spurred on by the fact I think I have blight in the crop (see next post).

Anyway, we ate some for tea and they were lovely – I had that chap in the middle as he was the famous First Spud of 2007! and therefore it was my divine right to munch him up good 😀

Ohhh… Arse.

I planted one lot of beans and carrots and salady stuff.

The slugs ate them.

I bought nemaslug and watered it in to kill the slugs. 

I planted a second lot of beans and carrots and salady stuff, as well as asparagus.

The slugs ate them.

I spent a long time on Saturday planting seeds out in little pots and putting them into my new stand up mini-greenhouse.

The wind blew it down.

I am so pissed off.

Tonight I shall be screwing the greenhouse to the fence and re-planting all the seedlings for attempt number four.

Really, really pissed off.

First Ever Asparagus!

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First Ever Asparagus (19th June 07) 2

Bugger me! A mere 14 (count ’em!) days after planting my 1-year old asparagus crowns, several small (and one or two not-so-small) shoots are already poking through!

Only another 2 years before I can harvest them for a meal of (puts on Dervla Kerwin’s best FM* voice) gently steamed asparagus and soft scrambled eggs on thick home made toasted bread all drizzled with truffle oil… mmmmmmmm… 😀

 * If I need to explain, you are too innocent to know.

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