Burro in Print – Third Time’s A Charm!

Yeeha! My third post for the local newspaper’s blog is online now (and in print, I hear but the free paper never reaches us so I’ve not seen that yet). Pop over to the LEP Green Section and read all about my War on Slugs!

Josie has my fourth post and that should appear in a couple of weeks, whilst Stu has agreed to write for her as well 🙂


Burro in Print: 2nd post and still not sacked!

Blimey folks, yet more from me in my local paper! Surely someone will realise I’m winging it? I keep expecting it at work, but no one seems to clock on I’m just a cheeky a chancer 🙂

Read my amazing* second post here – ahhh, go on now… go on… go on…

* honest 😉

Burro in Print: I’m Famous!

Bloody hell! They put it up on their blog! Well I’ll go t’foot of our stairs 🙂

Reeeead Alllll AAAAAAboooout It! David Burro Says “It ain’t easy being green!”

I’ve aalso been asked to write for a SL magazing and website, but more of that on my mysterious ‘other blog’…


Burro in Print!

Well faithful Burro fans, it done. I have spoken to the local reporter (Hi Josie – I see you were taught by Andy – Ahhhh, the stories I could tell you about Andy…) and as of next week I’ll be contributing to the local paper’s blog. I don’t think it’s paid – I haven’t really asked. Should it be?

Anyhoos, I’ll keep you posted, loyal readers.

Toodle Pip,  as my mate Anni would say 🙂

Lord Burro, gardener to the stars.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Jesus! I couldn’t eat this bugger! It’s all I could do not to call the local priest in and have it exorcised before driving a stake through its twisted heart!

A Coke Moment…

Bloggers for a positive global change award memeRight… I’ve been tagged again. Thank’s KW 😉

I’m dead busy right now so I’ll have to keep my tags brief (unlike the time I had to tag my briefs because of that strange man who liked my washing…). This meme comes to me via Kitchen Witch (and a damn fine Witch she is too) from this worthy site.

My five sites are…

1) Bean Sprouts – bloody great site full of useful, real-life stuff. If Mel and her family can do it, we all can!

2) Self Sufficient-ish – cracking site that will inspire and inform.

3) Honeybee Network – protecting rural knowledge for all.

4) Down The Lane – Richard downshifted… so can you!

5) Moosey’s Country Garden – Huge site with tonnes of help and advice.

That’s it folks – gotta dash. Check these links out and have a flick through the ones to the left as I had to leave loads of brilliant people and their blogs out 🙂

In the meantime…

Until I get my photos up and write a bit about being a Shakespear Tourist in Stratford, take a gander at this great blog from Jac in London. Enjoy 🙂

EDIT: Ohhh, take a look at Sara’s farm in Yorkshire too – she makes mine & Hedgie’s To Do lists look easy!

New Plot in Town…

This is just a quick post to let you all know (as if you didn’t already, you bunch of eager beavers, you) that there is a new veg growing website-stroke-forum-cum-blog* in town. Click your merry way to www.vegetable-gardens.co.uk and tell Adam I sent you – at least then he knows who to blame once property prices slump around him.

 * Such a thing is illegal in Texas** and make you go blind, you mucky buggers. I’m looking your way, Hedgie

 ** Probably***.

***Sooner or later, all things will be illegal in Texas**. Hedge Wizard has been since 2005****.

**** Poor the HW. A good egg, I say!

Ask to see his big amp. Go on! I dares ya!

Ignore the post below – he’s shut it down already. Blimey!

My mate El Gordo, in a continuing attempt to take over the interweb and/or avoid work, has opened another blog. This blog, I think I can safely say, is the One Blog To Rule Them All and can be used as a portal* to his many, many other sites. Pop along and leave some abuse in my name. p.s. El Gordo has been getting some airplay in the US of A! Clicky and look for Heskin Radiophonic Workshop. Well done matey!

 * El Gordo’s portal… *shudder*

The Garden of Good & Evil…

Blimey! No, really. BLIMEY! I mean, this is worth a full on Cor Blimey O’Reilly G’vnr bless me my lavlee Cockernee Sparra what can I do wiv a drankan sailor! Trust me, it’s that momentous. Really.

You see, it hadn’t occurred to me before, but now I come to think back it is obvious. Like realising the fact that for you to be here your parents must have had sex or that your first pet rabbit didn’t really “go home to live with his family” at all but was eaten by your granddad, it’s only hindsight that reveals the vile, slobbering maw of truth lurking and grinning just behind that thin veil of self-protective innocence we all wear like a second skin.

But now… oh god now… now I know the truth about my garden, I feel the clammy hand of terror clutching at my fundament like never before. Now, little things I’ve noticed over the years but dismissed with a casual “Oooh, isn’t that interesting” or “Awww, isn’t nature cruel” finally slot into place to reveal, like some horrible, twisted jigsaw from the depths of a cold and calculating mind, that my garden is not some green and idyllic paradise. It’s not even a harsh but fair ecosystem based on Darwinian dog-eat-dog principals. Oh no, instead it’s the vicious frontline battle in an eons old war between the forces of Good and Evil! No, really!

What first alerted me was GiGi’s post about ants being unable to cross lines of chalk. Good God! I’ve read Dennis Wheatley. I’ve seen “To The Devil A Daughter”*. I knows my Evil onions, whens I sees ‘em. GiGi’s post led to me to think about other garden pests and that’s when things began to get just a little freaky. Salt. Slugs hate salt and we all know what salt does to the Devil**. Water. Aphids hate water which can only mean they hate holy water as much, if not more.

So, is this the proof I need to conclusively state that our gardens are infested with Creatures From Beyond Our Ken***? Frankly, I don’t know, but I’m beginning to think that if Sunnydale had the Hellmouth, I may have found the Hellanus and I think the only man who can help me now would be born of an unholy alliance forged under a blood red moon between a rutting Monty Don and the undead corpse of Alistair Crowley.

Check your gardens now. And take a witch or wizard with you (skyclad optional, but if they offer I’d say take a camera too… for the ectoplasmic evidence, you understand). Oh, and if you need any more advice, try Marvin as he’s 10th level and I’m only a Terry Toweling Padawan so can only deal with minor dread incursions such as noxious fumes (open yon privy window and spineth withershins thrice whilst holding ye breathee) and broken vials (wearth of the glovees less the Safety and Health wench catch yee and fine yee boss).

Head Burro – salt and chalk at the ready!

* One scene many, many times. Yowser.
** The answer being blind him, not raise his chance of a heart attack. I don’t think Satan has a heart. And if he did, the mere sight of himself every morning must have annealed it by now. A bit like Kate moss having to look at Pete Doherty in mid-orgasm.
*** I don’t mean two funny camp men. But if they did find their way into my garden, I have a bent dibber that needs some attention and a hoe that needs a good oiling. Oh yes.

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